Sunday, January 6, 2013

The Epiphany

Hi friends!

Last week when I was at a thrift store, I saw a mix and matched set of Christmas dishes. I realized that most of the pieces in this set were from a unfinished set that I already owned. I decided to buy the set because I knew these were pieces that I didn’t have.

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The set was marked at $9.99. I would have never paid that but, I did pay $2.50 (all Christmas 75% off) and felt good about that price.

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My plan was simply to pack them up, marked the box and put them into my Christmas storage. As I was starting to rewrap the pieces, I had an epiphany.

I realized that I had not set a pretty table since Lia was taken away from us.

Not a tablescape and not even a regular dinnertime table.

I sat down and thought back over these past 6 weeks and realized how many things I stopped doing that I usually did just for the joy of doing it.

The simple things in my everyday life that brought a smile to my face seemed to stop 6 weeks ago. I don’t think I did on purpose, it just happened.

Besides all the pain, sadness and anger involved in this whole situation, I realized that I felt guilt. And I thought, “I can’t smile or be happy when I feel so guilty over what has happened”.

Why did I feel guilty? Because I promised a little girl that if she was brave and strong and just told the truth, everything would be okay. And this is the thing that has been haunting my heart for 6 weeks. I feel guilty that I didn’t protect her. I feel guilty that my words to her turned into lies.

This epiphany moment for me made me realize that it was NOT my fault. I did all the right things. The guilt should not be on my shoulders, it should be on the people that committed this horrific injustice.

I also realized what a disservice I have done to Lia, Troy, my family, my friends and to myself. By holding onto this guilt and letting it rule my everyday life, I stripped away the joy. The person I have been acting like is NOT Lia’s Mama. It is NOT Troy’s wife. It’s simply NOT Diann.

Today is the Epiphany also know as Three Kings Day. Also, today is the Twelfth day of Christmas.

 

The dictionary defines Epiphany……. 

1 .( initial capital letter ) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day.

2. an appearance or manifestation, especially of a deity.

3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

Since so much of what I realized mirrors the tale of Scrooge, I too decided it is not too late to enjoy the holiday. I need to embrace and be grateful for this day. Not live the past within my heart. No more just going through the motions. I decided to celebrate and enjoy the last official day of Christmas!

This table is subtle. No big fanfare tablescaping going on here. Just a small step in the right direction.

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Starting with a rough piece of burlap felt right for this table. Don’t ask why, it just did.

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I hope you enjoyed your visit to my first tablescape of 2013. Like I said, no major “scaping” going on here. Just a small step in returning the joy to my heart.

I’m joining:

Gratitude Sunday

Tea Time Tuesday

Tuesday Cuppa Tea

Let’s Dish!

Share Your Cup Thursday

Be Inspired

23 comments:

  1. Diann so glad you found joy in the Christmas china. I think your tablescape was beautiful.

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  2. Diann, your table is as beautiful as the sentiment in your words and in your heart! I'm praying that you will soon find the joy in everyday life and simple things like silly tablescapes! XO Cindy

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  3. This is lovely, and I agree a step in the right direction. Our pastor calls Epiphany an "Ah-Ha!" moment, and it looks like you had yours in doing this table. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult transition.

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  4. Oh my goodness, do not be so hard on yourself. You have been through something very tramatic and I am not sure how any of us would bounce back from that!
    You got a great bargin and your table looks beautiful
    Hang in there!

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  5. Diann - your table is beautiful. Your heart full of love and tenderness and it has lead you back to where it is the happiest. I continue to pray that you, Troy and your precious Lia will all be home together soon.

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  6. Sending you extra hugs and I'm glad you were able to enjoy a pretty tablescape again. Continued prayers coming across the state.

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  7. Very nice, Diann. So glad you have decided to let some joy back into your life. The china is lovely. You did a great job. I'm hoping the BEST for you, Troy and Lia in 2013. Susan

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  8. Diann,I am so pleased you have let go of the guilt and moved a little forward. You so deserve a little joy. I think your table is lovely. Great price for your Christmas dishes too. 2013 is going to be really good. xx

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  9. Diann I am so glad you did this tablescape! It is so important for you not to lose who you are! I am so proud of you and so grateful that you are my friend! Thank you for joining Gratitude Sunday!

    Big Hugs,
    Linda

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  10. Girl, you touched my heart with that! Your table is wonderful, most importantly, it is the little findings of joy that bring life back. I hope you get it ALL.

    Hugs,

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  11. An Epiphany indeed. I think you made a brave and important step. Prayers going out and up for your situation.

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  12. Joy in our heart and life is as essential as food and water...and love.
    So glad to see this lovely table, knowing you are on the right track BACK.:)
    xo bj

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  13. I'm so glad you had this epiphany moment on the celebration of the Epiphany. You are so right, Diann, this is not your fault. I'm praying that this horrific situation is resolved soon. Joy and blessings to you. Your table is so pretty and so fitting.

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  14. Dear Diann,
    Your china is so pretty and sets a lovely tablescape; perfect for the Epiphany season. I am sorry you have had to go through additional pain. I guess I missed this latest development while I was away. I pray that things will be resolved as they ought to be very shortly. Joy and love to you, my friend.

    Blessings,
    Sandi

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  15. Hello Diann, I am so glad to hear that you have a new fresh perspective on a painful situation. I think I may have gone through similar considering what you shared. And I too suffered guilt for a while. But you did all you could. We wish we could make people listen and change and fix and do what is honorable...but we can't.
    Your new thrifty dishes are a great way to celebrate taking back your joy! Yay! I too, am sharing a thrifted set on T.T. tonight. I didn't say in my post, but for a set of 4 I paid $20...which I was delighted about! But you got the real bargain! Wow, so much for just a couple dollars! Once again, you are the Queen of Thrift!
    Healing hugs,
    Terri

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  16. Oh Diann...what a precious post, and start of freedom for you. The gift of the dishes unleashed a flood of healing. Enjoy your treasures and the many blessings we are given. That's again for sharing such a precious part of your life's journey with us. God bless you! And thanks for linking to Tuesday Cuppa Tea.
    Ruth

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  17. Small steps to healing. I think you found the dishes at just the right time! Lots of hugs and happy tea day!

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  18. Good for you, Diann! Lia doesn't want you to linger in sadness.
    Your table looks lovely and I wish you the best.
    Blessings, Beth

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  19. Diann, another amazing find, and you've used it beautifully. I think your tablescape looks so pretty. I'm glad you had this Ephiany, because of course, none of this is your fault. Lia knows you well enough to know that you would not intentionally lie to her or hurt her. I have no doubt that she knows you are hurting now and would be glad to know that you are taking the steps to be the person she knows you are. Sending you hugs. laurie

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  20. These are such pretty dishes. I'm so sorry about everything that happened to your little Lia. Please take good care of yourself so that you have the energy to fight to get her back.

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  21. I am glad that you found more pieces of that pretty china to fill in your set. I am happy to hear you getting back to feeling more yourself.

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  22. Lovely table, a great bargain.
    I pray for you everyday!
    Thanks so much for linking to Let's Dish!

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Thank you for taking the time to comment! I hope you have a wonderful day! Diann :)